Outlet of Creativity...

Ever since I could hold a pencil in my left hand I've drawn. On everything. In school my notebooks were covered. Doodles of creatures, squiggles, geometric shapes, caricatures of my teachers and other forgotten creations. In my AP World History class I was sitting up in the front, taking notes, paying attention, not bothering anyone, just sitting there doodling in my margins and my teacher started...not yelling but talking in an agitated voice...saying how all I do is sit and doodle and not pay attention. I then stated that I've been paying perfect attention. I showed him all of my notes and recited what he had just been talking about. He then grabbed my pencils and threw them across the room.

When my age was still in the single digits, my answer to age old question "What do you want to be when you grow up?" I wanted to be an illustrator for Disney. I thought it was all so magical. I loved watching Disney movies (Sleeping Beauty, Aladdin, The Lion King, The Hunchback of Notre Dame, Hurcules, Mulan...you get it) but I knew that's what I wanted to do when I watched Beauty and the Beast...don't judge me. But then something happened, Toy Story. Once Pixar came into the scene my dreams were crushed. Everything stated to become computer animated: Finding Nemo, A Bug's Life, The Incredibles, Wall E...all great movies but the classics are the best. I wanted to be a part of that wonderful creative process. To bring these beings to life and to see them go from an idea in your head, through your arm, to your hand, fingers, and transfer from pencil to paper. It's true when an artist says that their paintbrush, pencil, charcoal, or whatever, is just an extension of your arm.

When it came time to figure out what I wanted to do with my life I had a horrible time. I knew some things: I wanted to do something practical [not theatre or become a random artist aka Fine Arts], I wanted to go away, I wanted to become independent and fast, I wanted to study abroad, I wanted to live in New York City and I wanted to do something where I could be creative [...insert previous told story on how I got into fashion...]

So now I'm trying to figure out how to bring some creativity to my life; a creative outlet. I still continue to draw, I'll never stop. I draw fashion figures. I've only had two formal classes...but...anyway. I've been trying to find a project that will be epic. Something I can work on over weeks, months, years maybe! A project that keeps building and building. Something that won't be done until I step back, look at it and just walk away knowing there's nothing left to do.

Maybe I should have an epic sketchbook filled with anything and everything: sketches, doodles, fashion figures, swatches, collages... Gabby suggested I take pictures of people who I find interesting looking on the street and draw them. I love the ideas, I'll add to them.

That's why I started this blog, as a way to have an outlet for something.

But seriously, I need an outlet, a project something to look forward to doing.

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